Take it black.

Click "PLAY"

Then continue reading:

Apparently my subtle tactics of turing people from a soft bowl of porridge into a metal thrashing Viking swinging a corpse by the throat while you claymore the doors to the gym open hasn't been enough of a stimulant to change your thought pattern.  Allow me to try again.

There seems to be a recurring theme that surrounds those who wish more of themselves on an almost minute-to-minute basis.  These reactionaries resemble children stripped of candy when they miss a goal, a rep, or a first-place finish.  The theme?


Fear.


If you've read this, and this, and this, and are still casually strolling into the gym thinking "Maybe I'll lift heavy today.  I'm not sure.  I'll just ask my coach, he/she can think for me, and if its too hard/heavy/scary/confusing/painful I'll just stop and give a look that says, or actually say, I'm not doing this." Or, "You want ME to do this?  Are you crazy?  You obviously don't know what you're doing."

I've gotten really good at pissing people off.  I almost put it on my resume.  The recipe is pretty simple, take someone who's first expectation is that you will make them more "in shape/toned/better at 5k's/some other bullshit measurement of true fitness" and tell them to work harder than they ever have before.  Put outside the bubble of known most people slip and stumble and trip and claw for anything familiar.  Simultaneously, if they are truly getting their dollar's worth, they stop enjoying the process.  It is an embarrassing experience to be shown that you posses little to no skill in things, but that has little to no meaning that you as a person aren't worthy of trying to get better.  That's where people let fear creep in and, win.  That's the point when a champion's mind is forged or a loser born.  And from a coaching standpoint it's what we watch for fervently.  Those who get fuck-stomped (technical term) and get up and go again with no loss of enthusiasm are the one's, regardless of any other attribute, quality, or talent, who maintain gains and continually overshadow their peers in performance.  Age, sex, and health conditions all mean nothing.

This extends beyond the gym.  For many, the gym is this other place.  Work, school, home, church, gym.  At these places, many take on different roles.  Worker, student, taskmaster, clergyman, ???.  But where do I fit in at the gym?  You fit into the role you have given yourself either by pacifism or through genuine leadership.  If you are the type of person who considers other people and things to be the determining factor as to your current state of affairs, then likely, you will do the same thing at the gym.  Conversely, if you constantly own your life and attribute every consequence (positive or negative) to your own actions, then likely you will do the same in the gym.  The gym is not where you become any of these, it is merely a place where your true nature is exposed.  This is extremely personal for some people.  Showing somebody how terrible they are at controlling their own bodies can leave them feeling very scared and betrayed.  Similar to being bedridden with uncontrollable diarrhea: betrayed.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Pseudo-Q&A Time:

Q:  So, Coach, I'm a cream puff but I want to get tough, where do I start?

A:  Glad you asked, start by choosing to accept every single thing about yourself and where you are at in your training.  Now that you've accepted it, choose to obliterate the fuck out of it through hard work, laser-like focus, and an unending thirst for knowledge on the things that give you the most trouble. An attitude that every single second of every single day is an opportunity to wring the last drops of life out of every breath you take is also helpful.

Q:  That sounds like an intense paradigm.  How am I supposed to get pumped when I got a thousand other things to get done and also, this bar seems really heavy.

A:  Rule #1 when it comes to lifting: Stop being such a fucking pussy.  Start by drinking coffee and listening to consistently heavier and harder music.  Saying something is heavy or hard only affects you.  Assuming you are training in a real facility, one with heavy iron weights, a cage, a platform, knowledgeable and experienced coaches, than your gym-mates are probably not weak or sympathetic to physical hardships. That's one of the best things about being in a real gym, the real athletes who train there 'get it'.  Assuming others around you have the same mindset as you is what turned your body to mush in the first place.  Forge your brain to accept the ultimate truth: Life is hard.  Do this daily.

Q:  Ew, coffee?  Really?  Couldn't I just drink tea or Monster energy?  What about caramel machiatto's?

A:  Rule #1.

Q:  I feel like I'm dying during these workouts.   Sometimes I black out and/or the pain is greater than anything I have ever experienced anywhere in my entire life.  This alarms me and my doctor.  Does it have to be this difficult every day?

A:  Rule #1.  I truly believe the closer you can get to death in training, without going over the line, the more life you are getting out of yourself.  If you work out hard enough, often enough, and smart enough you will reach a place that usually comes at the end of the hardest sets, reps, and rounds.  It will be a place that only your thoughts count.  The body has gone numb, the CNS is fried, and every synapse is screaming "Mercy!".  After that point, the real gains are made.  Those that push through will attest to having seen this level of remuneration for effort.  (Here's proof that it will be euphoric, probably)

Q:  Can I ever just sit back and enjoy a nice book, glass of wine, and relax?

A:  If you are 100% accountable for every action you take and realize how it affects the whole of your progress as an athlete and a human being than you will realize that yes, you can do whatever you want.  Just make sure you own up to it.

Q:  What are some other tips for getting tough?

A:  Wake up early.  Whatever time came into your head just now, move it back 2 hours.  You will accomplish more in a year of waking up at 4:30 AM every day than you would for 5 years of waking up after 9 AM.  Put more manual labor into your life.  Do things that look exhausting and then assess if it was.  If it was, you must get stronger and more conditioned.  Ride your bike to work.  Do it in the rain and snow.  Learn to deal with things by not removing the hard bits, but by changing your attitude towards them.  Learn to say "No".  Posturing at weekend socials, eating shitty food (on account of not hurting the chef's feelings), talking the talk about what it is you plan on doing: none of these are getting you closer to the part of life you so desperately seek to attain.  Pay it forward at every chance you get.  Someone may be looking to prove themselves, give them an opportunity.  Watching others with less experience than you try as hard as they can will offer you a renewed sense of spirit and drive.  Use it.