I've been training all year. I've got scars to prove it. Numbers this year are bigger than last; everything is still moving in the direction planned. Still focused. Coffee and squats daily. Sometimes more.
The days are coming faster and faster. And I seem to catch the sun at the same point on the horizon each night, although the time it happens keeps changing, quickly. The nights occupy more than I'd like them to.
Constantly reminded that there is no time to remain stagnant. Forcing some growth - personally, professionally, spiritually, physically - must happen now. Change is coming.
I've been away from blogging as setting up the framework for our rapidly expanding community has been an all-consuming task to say the least. Fear not, the coffee never gets a chance to get cold.
As it turns out, my best friend Mike has gone and joined Uncle Sam in the quest to defend our Country. I am proud of him. He is a man who takes great care to which actions he takes, and this one, the greatest to date.
He and I have been C&Sing since the beginning, and to continue on without him here will be a great challenge. I will miss most his quiet creativity, and unyielding energy. And although I am feeling a bit as though a sinkhole is under me and that there is no time to get to safety, I know he will be fulfilled as this is his dream, and with that he has my utmost respect and support.
I wish him the very best, as I know he will emerge as a leader and courageous warrior where ever it is he ends up.
I would hate to be hunted by him, that's for sure.
Welcome to real life - no one makes it out alive, so why stay on the current plateau?
Everyone falls, but a select, dedicated few reach heights that, when they do fall, let them fall to a greater degree. Ask more of your body every day.
Hell, you don't need to be in an actual competition to compete, you should be going against yester-you every single day. The effort from last week is what drives you further today. We acquire the strength it takes to overcome obstacles. More obstacles, more strength. Competition just puts it on a stage.
So when it comes to testing mettle amongst others, the one who has sought the most obstacles, who has bled the most, cried the loudest, and dug holes deep enough light doesn't hit bottom, and then keeps digging - they are the ones who usually find themselves crossing the finish line with no one in front of them.
You can be a bad ass, but a smart bad-ass will go further. The one reason that makes this so: they seek out the untried. They will the way.
All of this should be on the road to competition, because upon arrival you have to make some strategy decisions. Here's the rambling's of someone who wants you to succeed at your next competition adventure.
Know your objective. If you aren't interested in winning (WTF?!) then you better be ready to lose. Your all-comsuming goal is to win. Blow the ever-loving doors off. Rip the souls from the competition's chest and use them as fuel on your way to a massacre of a victory. This feeling can be replicated with the purchase of a large Americano quad-shot.
Attitude. This must align with your goal. To be a winner, you must think like a winner. "I am a winner. I will win." This will prepare you for the pain, at least, when it hits you will know why it hurts so fucking bad. It hurts to play at the highest levels. That's why so few choose to do so.
See the future. What's coming and how do I respond to it? - would be a great question to outline for yourself as you prepare to do battle. Knowing your strength's and weaknesses will allow you push yourself on a personal forte and hit it the best you are able on your not-so-hot abilities.
Remove distractions. Listen up, we've all destroyed our hands, arms, legs, you-name-its with workouts before. Is a shitty piece of tape really going to give you a leg up on the others as you do pull-ups so you don't hurt your wee little hands? Fuck that shit. Go in raw, come out bleeding and laughing at how awesome it was to have blood as chalk.. you do know blood gets sticky right? Fuck yeah, natural chalk.
Stick with your plan (as long as possible). I know, your plan goes to shit almost immediately in comp time, but having a plan allows you have something to go back to mentally when everything else dissolves. If you are planning on doing a set of 30 burpee's as two sets of 15, and by the time you get to 10 your eyes are bleeding, you can then tell yourself, "Hey, I've only got 5 more until I can wipe the blood from my vision!" And now you have a motivating goal.
Be a pro, go for quality. Stepping up to a heavy bar for deadlifts after a chipper of other brutal movements might make you think, "Back, you're fucked." And as you round out your back to pick up heavy shit you automatically destroy 10x the amount of tissue you needed to. Be a rockstar and take the fraction of a second to remember how you set-up for the lift. Then do it. This should be a given if you are truly thinking like a winner. The athletes that do the most work the fastest usually have the best mechanics. Stick with that.
Get your rest. The advantage so many forget is simple stuff. Lots of sleep, lots of water, clean food, and getting your body mechanically aligned.
The back squat. Those of you reading this aren't new to it or else you'd probably never have found this blog. Coffee and Squats is dedicated to being more, every day of your f-ing life. Heavy squats accomplish this in a way nothing else can come close to...ok maybe outlaw programming, but for those who don't know WTF that is, squatting is your path.
I'm currently writing another blog on my personal endeavor with CrossFit Football, one of the most bad ass strength programs CrossFit, or any program, has to offer. In case you are not familiar, CFFB begins its newer athletes with an Amateur Strength program. Google it and check out their bitchin' site if you want more info on it, but suffice it to say that it blows weak ass programs away.
Part of the genius that is CFFB is the foundation by which everything is based on: Squat twice a week.
As an amateur, this means back squats, and adding small amounts of weight to the bar EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU SQUAT. CFFB creator John Welbourn also explains his program at length through his blog, talk to me johnnie, and if you have questions his seemingly un-ending knowledge is for the taking, granted its an explosion of information (think Jackson Pollock) and can be quite overwhelming if you are new and haven't lifted heavy weights before. Make no mistake though, he's very well educated on how to be strong, powerful, and getting more out of yourself a power athlete at every stage in the game. Ok, enough poo-nosing.
Getting under a constantly heavy bar takes a person of domineering will and fierce spirit, and the longer you stay with a program that always asks more of you than ever before, the more you will need to have an iron constitution to carry you through the shit-storm cycle of self-destruction and growth.
This is relevant.
This post is not about how-to or how low to squat, that should be understood already, and is documented here. But for reference, send your ass to grass, shove your knee's out, keep your chest up, & push your heels through the crust of the earth. This post is about getting your head out from the sand and prepping for some heavy squats.
The day's effort should begin with the night before, getting lots of quality sleep in a dark room, and upon waking brewing some not-to-be-fucked-with coffee. Consume proteins and fats as needed. Then, off to the cave...
#1. Relax as you warmup, roll out, get your hips un-fucked with some mobility, lay on a lacrosse ball, unglue your tissue issues, and break a sweat. Pound coffee. Perform one or two sets of 5 squats with just the bar.
#2. Build Belief. Start loading the bar with weight, performing 5 reps to "grease the groove" at heavier and heavier loads leading up to what you will be performing for the day. As weight increases, don't let yourself slow down, this will help you believe in your ability to complete the soul-crushingly heavy sets to come.
#3. Focus. Post warmup and pre-workout you should have something pumping in your head that gets you geared toward killing the weights. I suggest the group Bloodbath, or Vader. Both are on Pandora. Develop a personal mantra such as "kill the weights", or "destroy" and let it guide you to victory.
#4. Detach. Elite level performers often experience a "blackout" during maximal efforts. This out of body experience is usually due to the athlete being serious about #3. Remove any ideas you have about the outcome and stay focused on the process. Let the story write itself. There is only one right way to do this, and its different for everyone. The right way is the way that gets it fucking finished. If you think about getting blah blah many reps, you won't be thinking about where to breathe, the timing of it, staying back on the heels, and most importantly, being fucking awesome.
#5. The devil's in the details. Know your stance, your ability, make small jumps when you add weight near your limits, and give it your everything.
Setting a personal agenda is one of the most basic and important tasks on the path to becoming someone who can stand on their own two feet and explicitly describe who they are what they believe. The best way I have found to be able to get started is by asking hard questions and answering them honestly. Try these for starters:
What would I do if I didn't have to work for money?
What makes me happy?
What are my goals?
Am I contributing positively in some way?
What is my self-image?
What do I want to accomplish this day, month, year?
What do I spend my time on?
Do I work hard enough?
Do I work smart enough?
Do I work on the right things?
Do I work on doing things right?
Am I falling victim to the status quo?
Am I passionate and what about?
Who is it that I spend my time with?
Who should I be spending my time with?
How often do I ask myself hard questions?
One of my favorite intangible benefits to consistently doing hard workouts is the fact that it forces you to take a brutally honest look at the worth of things. At the efforts involved and how you could have done better with different planning and actions.
Is my time better spent sleeping or taking shots off of a young co-ed's chest? Depends on how bad you want to suffer, I suppose.
Has goals.
Has herpes.
This non-exhaustive list should get you going. Feel free to comment on others I may have missed.
Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies. ~Erich Fromm
Day after day, week after week you keep going to the gym, opening your garage, where ever it is you train, you begin each day with wonder... is today the day it all comes together?
Stepping up to a heavy bar and and asking that question for what seems quite a while, as the days of fruition are getting fewer and farther between, a feeling of reaching another level associates with this level of stressor/response delay - the place where you transition from the meek and stringy amateur athlete, to intermediate status.
The shift is almost invisible to the athlete, as they are profoundly rapt in consuming animal flesh for recovery, planning 10 hours or more for sleep, and licking their ever-growing wounds, but it is a crucial point of view for those who want to stay motivated as they mature their athletic abilities.
As a new athlete the world is a giving place where anyone willing to try a few new things will immediately reap reward in the form of better sleep, new energy, a few pounds off the gut, and a couple of skills acquired. It feels fan-fucking-tastic! Hope is renewed frequently as the body adapts to demands placed on it almost hourly and continues to become an unstoppable machine of metabolic and weightlifting glory. This can possibly be sustained for 6-12 months, depending on variables closely associated with discipline, diet, sleep and work ethic. However, around year 2 some things begin happening...
It begins with a growing concern in the back of the athletes mind as workouts and lifts indicate a slowing of progress. Skill acquisition becomes time consuming beyond just single efforts. A slip in diet causes days of inadequate performance and mental fatigue unlike before. You feel crushed, mentally, physically, whole-heartedly.
Welcome to the suck. This is the moment where you either give up, give in, or give it all you have. And not just today, every single moment of every single day. These are the moments that champions are born. When all hope is lost, you stand once more to try as hard you can - today. One moment at a time. Through the pains of failure, disappointment, almost's... You keep grinding. You crawl to the finish line.
As the body's ability to adapt to various workloads becomes more efficient, and it will, it decides that it can now go back to being lazy as fuck. And it will. Your body is literally trying to do as little as possible all the time. Once it figures out your weightlifting scheme and pansy-assed efforts (anything lifted below 90% 1RM) it will immediately go back to just being ok where it is. This is why lifting a heavy object twice a week (at a minimum) is so crucial to athletic development, the body must learn that off days are not "rest days", there are no rest days, they are only days in-between to facilitate heavy consumption of fuel for the next training session and allowing just enough time for the body to get re-built where the last squatting session has left massacred muscles and tendons to die.
Don't worry, at the shifting point they are already adapted to most of your efforts, and thus will be tough enough to carry forward, but to increase their ability is why it must be a 'best effort' every single day. It takes many of these BE's to wake them the fuck up and get them responding. And the longer you've been training the longer it will take to see an increase in ability. Probably, you'll go backwards at some point. Probably, you'll feel like absolute shit and a broken psyche will add to your injured/pulled/ripped/torn body parts. You might feel like you haven't gained anything in the last 6 months or more, and that maybe this just isn't for you...
But you still have to give it all you have.
Because you didn't start to just become a better you. You started so you could become the best you. And if not, then you're wasting your time and the time of those around you.
And its at this point that you step up to loaded barbell and, after months of effort with no return, you begin your reps. And you make it all the way to the last rep, standing there with no spotter, no camera's, no one watching...
...and you achieve.
Racking the bar you collapse underneath it as the chalk gently snows down on you from your hands still gripping overhead. That's what all of your best efforts have been for. One single win.
Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability.
-John Wooden
If you are consistently training, facing weaknesses headlong, rising up after getting stapled to the floor from something heavy to try again, and in general trying to out-perform your last 'best' effort, than I would like to extend a notion of thanks your way.
Coffee and Squats is about doing what needs to be done regardless of circumstance in pursuit of making yourself happiest. No, I did not say strong, or ripped, I said happiest. Whatever you are doing in life will only serve you insofar as it makes you happy. That is why the secret to happiness is as follows in two points: 1. Find out what you want in life. 2. Go get it. Whatever gets in the way of that can be overcome if the goal sought is clearly something that will yield happiness.
Physical and mental limits often precede the point where people stop pursuing this. Are you tired? Drink coffee. Are you feeling weak physically and mentally? Put a bar and your back and squat.
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Most often the people that are seeking help are not the ones who need it the most, they have the higher IQ or intuition to know that they need a change and are just going about figuring out how to make it happen. They just need a little kick in the butt at the right times, a kind word here and there, and someone to make sure they stay on track.
However, every once in awhile someone falls into that group that hasn't done the initial work of realizing the model they use to find happiness is the issue and, that they need to change the idea before asking for help. These people generally come off as the "do-it-for-me" types who view the money they throw at those providing help is all they need to do to affect change in their lives.
The people in this second group provide unending frustration to a coach who wants nothing more than to give every bit of knowledge they have ever known to help you succeed, while in return the person is not willing to give up the old life for a new one. That group of people is another blog in itself... however both groups can benefit from the paradigm I am dubbing "Supersonic Insta-grati-happy-fun-time".
Stop and reflect for a moment, was there a time that you saw some grandiose natural feature (a canyon, or a sunset on an ocean, etc..) and you felt a sense of serenity? At that instant, if for only an instant, I believe you decided to accept the universe as it was. You didn't feel it necessary to change the scenery, such as, "What a beautiful waterfall...if only it was a bit larger, then I would be ever-more pleased". No, that didn't happen because just as it was, you felt it was right.
Now, why don't you have that serene mindset every day? Why don't you wake up resonating with a feeling of being blessed that you may pursue whatever it is you are pursuing and that each moment an opportunity to get further towards it? I believe it lays in the fact that the model most of us use to reach happiness is dependent on the "If; Then" model. If blah blah blah happens, then I'll be happy. But thats not how it works, is it?
Example of "If; Then": If I get 10 pull-ups in a row, then I'll be happy with my efforts.
...Nine pull-ups later you fall off the bar and start deeming yourself an inadequate athlete whom should never have attempted such a feat.
What if you had started viewing it as a process rather than an outcome?
I get to do pull-ups today, I'm going to make these the best pull-ups I have ever done. I wonder, how many perfect pull-ups am I capable of?
...Nine pull-ups later you think, That was hard but nine perfect ones are more than I had last time!
Anything you can get such as physical strength, material possessions, a circle of friends, etc - you can also lose. The things you can get can be very nice, and give you a great feeling - for a time - but the feeling accompanied by their loss when you have tied your personal happiness to them is overwhelmingly paralyzing and can lead to a depressed state.
It is vital that you understand that in all of life outcomes are very rarely in our control. What is in your control is the process by which you live your life. Doing your best in every situation not only lends itself toward seeing the best outcome, but is also something that won't go away when you look into the mirror.
Remember, you choose to drink the coffee and get under the bar. It makes you happy. If it doesn't, then don't.
Apparently my subtle tactics of turing people from a soft bowl of porridge into a metal thrashing Viking swinging a corpse by the throat while you claymore the doors to the gym open hasn't been enough of a stimulant to change your thought pattern. Allow me to try again.
There seems to be a recurring theme that surrounds those who wish more of themselves on an almost minute-to-minute basis. These reactionaries resemble children stripped of candy when they miss a goal, a rep, or a first-place finish. The theme?
Fear.
If you've read this, and this, and this, and are still casually strolling into the gym thinking "Maybe I'll lift heavy today. I'm not sure. I'll just ask my coach, he/she can think for me, and if its too hard/heavy/scary/confusing/painful I'll just stop and give a look that says, or actually say, I'm not doing this." Or, "You want ME to do this? Are you crazy? You obviously don't know what you're doing."
I've gotten really good at pissing people off. I almost put it on my resume. The recipe is pretty simple, take someone who's first expectation is that you will make them more "in shape/toned/better at 5k's/some other bullshit measurement of true fitness" and tell them to work harder than they ever have before. Put outside the bubble of known most people slip and stumble and trip and claw for anything familiar. Simultaneously, if they are truly getting their dollar's worth, they stop enjoying the process. It is an embarrassing experience to be shown that you posses little to no skill in things, but that has little to no meaning that you as a person aren't worthy of trying to get better. That's where people let fear creep in and, win. That's the point when a champion's mind is forged or a loser born. And from a coaching standpoint it's what we watch for fervently. Those who get fuck-stomped (technical term) and get up and go again with no loss of enthusiasm are the one's, regardless of any other attribute, quality, or talent, who maintain gains and continually overshadow their peers in performance. Age, sex, and health conditions all mean nothing.
This extends beyond the gym. For many, the gym is this other place. Work, school, home, church, gym. At these places, many take on different roles. Worker, student, taskmaster, clergyman, ???. But where do I fit in at the gym? You fit into the role you have given yourself either by pacifism or through genuine leadership. If you are the type of person who considers other people and things to be the determining factor as to your current state of affairs, then likely, you will do the same thing at the gym. Conversely, if you constantly own your life and attribute every consequence (positive or negative) to your own actions, then likely you will do the same in the gym. The gym is not where you become any of these, it is merely a place where your true nature is exposed. This is extremely personal for some people. Showing somebody how terrible they are at controlling their own bodies can leave them feeling very scared and betrayed. Similar to being bedridden with uncontrollable diarrhea: betrayed.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Pseudo-Q&A Time:
Q: So, Coach, I'm a cream puff but I want to get tough, where do I start?
A: Glad you asked, start by choosing to accept every single thing about yourself and where you are at in your training. Now that you've accepted it, choose to obliterate the fuck out of it through hard work, laser-like focus, and an unending thirst for knowledge on the things that give you the most trouble. An attitude that every single second of every single day is an opportunity to wring the last drops of life out of every breath you take is also helpful.
Q: That sounds like an intense paradigm. How am I supposed to get pumped when I got a thousand other things to get done and also, this bar seems really heavy.
A: Rule #1 when it comes to lifting: Stop being such a fucking pussy. Start by drinking coffee and listening to consistently heavier and harder music. Saying something is heavy or hard only affects you. Assuming you are training in a real facility, one with heavy iron weights, a cage, a platform, knowledgeable and experienced coaches, than your gym-mates are probably not weak or sympathetic to physical hardships. That's one of the best things about being in a real gym, the real athletes who train there 'get it'. Assuming others around you have the same mindset as you is what turned your body to mush in the first place. Forge your brain to accept the ultimate truth: Life is hard. Do this daily.
Q: Ew, coffee? Really? Couldn't I just drink tea or Monster energy? What about caramel machiatto's?
A: Rule #1.
Q: I feel like I'm dying during these workouts. Sometimes I black out and/or the pain is greater than anything I have ever experienced anywhere in my entire life. This alarms me and my doctor. Does it have to be this difficult every day?
A: Rule #1. I truly believe the closer you can get to death in training, without going over the line, the more life you are getting out of yourself. If you work out hard enough, often enough, and smart enough you will reach a place that usually comes at the end of the hardest sets, reps, and rounds. It will be a place that only your thoughts count. The body has gone numb, the CNS is fried, and every synapse is screaming "Mercy!". After that point, the real gains are made. Those that push through will attest to having seen this level of remuneration for effort. (Here's proof that it will be euphoric, probably)
Q: Can I ever just sit back and enjoy a nice book, glass of wine, and relax?
A: If you are 100% accountable for every action you take and realize how it affects the whole of your progress as an athlete and a human being than you will realize that yes, you can do whatever you want. Just make sure you own up to it.
Q: What are some other tips for getting tough?
A: Wake up early. Whatever time came into your head just now, move it back 2 hours. You will accomplish more in a year of waking up at 4:30 AM every day than you would for 5 years of waking up after 9 AM. Put more manual labor into your life. Do things that look exhausting and then assess if it was. If it was, you must get stronger and more conditioned. Ride your bike to work. Do it in the rain and snow. Learn to deal with things by not removing the hard bits, but by changing your attitude towards them. Learn to say "No". Posturing at weekend socials, eating shitty food (on account of not hurting the chef's feelings), talking the talk about what it is you plan on doing: none of these are getting you closer to the part of life you so desperately seek to attain. Pay it forward at every chance you get. Someone may be looking to prove themselves, give them an opportunity. Watching others with less experience than you try as hard as they can will offer you a renewed sense of spirit and drive. Use it.
“If you don’t invest very much, then defeat doesn’t hurt very much and winning isn’t very exciting.”
-Dick Vermeil.
What can we say of competition? Of Challenge? Of risk? I would argue that in and of itself it is the axis point of a life well lived, and one that is squandered. Curiosity of who the best is, and is it me? Of course, finding out that we are not the best does not end our lives, unless we are Gladiators, rather, it is a way to quench an un-ending desire to fulfill our purpose, whatever that may be, and to whichever end.
I had the privilege of being close enough proximally to CrossFit Football's first ever Occupy Strength tour this past month. With an appetizer of BCAA's and the total destruction of one Renaissance Inn toilet, the main course was an event to find an athletes highest poundage in the Power Clean, Back Squat, Bench Press, and Deadlift. One must attempt 3 single efforts at each, in the specified order, and then add up all #'s to get their CFFB Total. Afterwards, a cruel metabolic burner would be the dessert to cook the big boys who'd rather nap with an IV of meat slurry than do sprint repeats after a heavy squat session.
I decided to sign-up and see how my little peon numbers would stack up against some big boys in the arena. Seeing that I have been slamming heavy weights, crushing whole milk, sucking pig and beef ribs clean of their meat, and on a whole absolutely trashing my body as hard as possible for the last 7 months, I felt that no matter the outcome, I would undoubtedly PR my lifts, and at the very least, be inspired.
Inspired I was. I missed him at first, but the innovator of CFFB, John Welbourne, was sitting 10 yards from me as I came out from the weigh-in. I thought that a planet had somehow landed inside the gym, but no, it was John Welbourne. The man weighs the equivalent of a sherman tank loaded with gold, his hands might be confused for bear paws, and he towers somewhere in the 6.5 foot range - eclipsing the sun even as hit sits down. I can see why he was useful in the NFL for 9 years, and I can tell, by his mass that has acquired a gravitational pull, he has been squatting since he was 13.
Not only that, but he is one of the most educated and articulate thinking minds in the strength and power arena today. That is why I follow his programming, read his blog, and eat what he tells me to. Not exclusively, but mostly.
Back to the event.... The CFFB total took 6 fucking hours. I don't give a damn who you are, that is a helluva long time to try and stay fucking jacked to set a PR for a single effort across 4 different lifts. Here was my toolset for the day: Death metal, BCAA's, forced hatred of failure, coffee and espresso blacker than the blackest black X infinity, and death metal. I did set PR's in 3 of 4 of the movements, and felt like I was sandbagging on 2 of them, but the real accomplishment laid with my affiliate partner, Mike, his better half, Jess, and my friend, Matt, who all crushed the fucking earth with weights harder than Mike Tyson's hate for right ears'. Mike took 2nd in the Men's LW class, which is bodyweight under 187#. He power cleaned 303#. Fact. He also Deadlifted 510#. Fact. Jess, who when she finishes destroying an animal and eating it weighs in at 109# power cleaned 167#...the highest in all weight divisions for women that day. She will fucking kill you. She also squatted 240# and DL'ed 260#. My good buddy, Matt, who is probably nicer than your grandma, is one of my favorite guys to lift with...he just does amazing things. Matt Power Cleaned 319, Squatted 545, Benched 335, and Deadlifted a house at 575.
I have no background in lifting heavy weights prior to 7 months ago when I began following CFFB. I have found the Power athlete training template to be one of the hardest, most fulfilling endeavors I have even undertaken. When I began in August I failed to squat 260#, power cleaned 175# at most, could inconsistently lift 450# in the Deadlift, and benched a shitty 200#. At the meet I scored as follows: PC 230#, BS 335#, Bench 215# (Not a PR), and DL 485#.
I also set a PR on crushing a half gallon of whole milk as we left Chicago. We stopped at BP in Cabrini Green (not advised) and it was gone by the first toll station. This is not an easy feat. Fact.
In sum, 1) Get your ass in gear and compete. At some point in life, you will be asked to compete at an unknown place and time, and having the experience is well worth it. 2) A serious thanks to John Welbourne and the CFFB crew that help push this stuff onto the masses. God knows they need it.
Do you ever find yourself seeing other people react to something and saying to yourself,
I wouldn't have gotten so excited
I wouldn't have started crying
I would have held my shit together
I would have told them what I really thought!
and so on...
How accurate is that perception?
Let's take it to a place we're familiar with, the gym setting. Here's the scenario, you are fried from two HEAVY days of conditioning, but need another workout to satisfy your weekly goal. You go in and its [insert worst fear movement #1] plus [insert worst fear movement #2] and rowing for calories (everyone hates fucking rowing for calories).
What happens? First, if you haven't handled it already, you probably take a trip to "the office" for a quick read-through of todays paper. Next, you mull around warming up like a jackass, trying to avoid anything resembling "getting your head in it" because that would only cause you to have to resort back to the first thing you did.
So, there you are, cold muscles, head in the clouds, fearful of your upcoming personal kryptonite workout, and 3, 2, 1...you're fucked now!
It's basically the same thing as watching someone REACT poorly to some external stimulus. They have some thing that triggers their emotions, usually fear, and from that thing they are now its servant. They have given up control of their lives to an idea, an object, a person, etc.
Here's my point, we all know things will come up from time to time that are just going to be flat out awful for us to go through. But therein lies the opportunity. The problem, as they say, is the solution.
It begins by holding yourself accountable to yourself. Just because rowing for calories pops up doesn't mean you are no longer great at [insert favorite, most elite-ly performed movement here], it just means you get another shot to fix a part of something not-so-great, and you aren't going to let a movement dictate your ability to struggle and learn a bit. Accountable to the fact that YOU ACTUALLY SUCK at something. As I have gone through the last 3 years of training I am more in tune with things that DESTROY me than the things I can pursue with no thought. I can list 10 things I suck at the drop of a hat. Its because to get better at them takes tons of focus and awareness that I can tell when I make even the slightest of improvements.
It is very easy to say "I'll never be good at pushups.", it is a REACTION. That immediately takes the blame off of YOU. But guess where that blame needs to be? In order for you to want to be better you have to reject where you are. If you blanket yourself with the attitude "What's the point?" you will never see the point in trying. In fact, you will continue to perform shitty warmups (literally) and let opportunity slip past you every time something awful arises because you are afraid of revealing your truest, most inner self. You are fearful that deep down, you just aren't good enough. You are afraid that you will be exposed, humiliated, laughed at.
You fear.
I'm here to tell you, it's ok. You fear, but we all fear. You will be exposed, but in good company. You will be humiliated briefly, but will gain humility. Through the trials you will gain an understanding about yourself that previously eluded you. And from that confidence will spawn. As you notch the belt of effort, you will soon see how the buckle will clasp, and hope will fill your heart.
Reaction is for the weak. Strength comes to those who place one foot in front of the other and learn what it takes to gain footing. The next time a Death-WOD comes up, embrace it. Warm-up with purpose. Take your time seriously and plan a way to make progress. There is always a way. Use the unsettled feeling in your stomach and throat as drive, and passionately slaughter your weakness.
You lost your job. Your best friend died. Your dog ran away. Your favorite NFL team blew the playoffs. Your significant other bitches at you constantly. Your neighbor is a thieving asshole. You got put in a fight and lost. You wrecked your car. Your government is screwing you. You blew the interview. You lost your wallet. You made a mistake on your taxes and got audited. It's raining hail and sleet and lightning and earthquaking. You've been cheated on.
One big breath and exhale a nice, long, sentimental..... "FUCK."
Now, get over it. Anger is a gift, my friends. It is a primal, unbridled opportunity for you to take your life by the throat and rip that shit open like Dalton protects the Double Deuce from pseudo-cowboy denim dancers.
Bad things happen, and with that we, being the good people we are, like to think that a higher power wouldn't bestow something so terrible on US. WE should be left out of the people marked with cancer, divorce, death, disease, etc.. We like to complicate matters thinking that there is some set of rules that if we abide will free us from hardship, effort, and in that we immediately relieve ourselves of power.
Life is pain. Once realized, you are free. Free to choose what you believe to be right, fair, and true - amidst all the pain.
The power of choice in an incredible event.
"This is what I believe, and I'm willing to die for it."
Don't overcomplicate it. Be aware of the choices at hand, and give them meaning by understanding that through the pain we find a life no one can take. Nothing can change it or let you down, or alter it in any way.
Take all that pain, put it through the incredible machine that you are, and use it as the gift is was meant to be.
Its not uncommon to perk up and focus when someone speaks in a whisper. The subconscious thinking there is more content to be gained with less volume. It may be, or not. Either way it has your attention.
With television, radio, and the coffee shop clubs constant incessant talking, pontificating, open judgement - when is there time to listen?
Are you able to hear what your telling yourself? Deep down there is a right, and wrong, and the ability to listen to it needs to be refined. How much noise are you blocking out, how much energy does it take? Does it distract you from being the person you want to be?
What was it that drove you to begin? Listening to yourself at moments of calm will undoubtedly produce a vision of the path you truly desire to walk. Have the guts to start, keep going uphill, see whats around the bend, and always move forward. It's always going to be one step, one breathe, one moment.
When you remember a time that you were you, in your truest sense, the task you are doing or the people you are with are a clue as to what makes you happiest. It's a sign that you are woking with purpose, which leads to passion, and fulfillment. Let yourself be taken back to what moves you. You don't need to be a hard ass to be a bad ass. Just keep following your dreams.
