Have Some Standards, For Krist Sake

Not giving a fuck about what other people are doing takes brass balls.  Its scary because you get no feedback from a smiling-sadistically coach or partner.  It's all you.  And yet, that is how some of the best are forged.  It forces you to decide for yourself what you think counts, and what does not.  All of sudden, you are the executive decision maker.  Judge, jury and below-parallel-perfect-high-bar-back-squat executioner.

These people exist.  As a matter of fact, they are dominating across gyms, competitions, and as first-responder types across the globe.  Those who look at standards and ask themselves if that standard really applies to them.  Like pull-ups.  Do I reach my chin for the bar at the top of the pull-up?  Do I kip?  What would most likely cause me to crash and burn in the real world?

It's interesting to me how we view ourselves in the safety of a gym/box/ranch/back-alley-squeezed between-two-dumpsters setting versus in nature where laws are unbreakable.  If a workout calls for strict pull-ups, and the first thing you do is grab a big fat band, or worse, bands, and after getting set-up begin to kip your ass up to the bar rather than attempting to actually do a pull-up as instructed how in Krist's name will you ever pull your same ass out of a real problem?  I've seen plenty of people who have been "working out" for a period of time still unable to perform even the slightest strict pull.

Let me clue in those same people to how pull-ups work in the real world.  Lets say you decide to go scramble over some bad-ass talus field at a local state park.  After your scramble bro-sesh, a few hours into your day, you park it on a ledge to grub out.  As you chew your food you become parched and in a haste to reach your water bottle your backpack nudges dumbly off the ledge... and lands 10' down in a crack nestled 90 feet above the ground. There is just enough room to go down and stand so you decide to try and go get it.  After all, your frakking wallet was in there.  So carefully you reverse your ass down the wall, thinking that you can climb back up, as the holds look to resemble giant potatoes.

Here's the thing about climbing holds on a wall: there is no way to kip.  The kip is a specific gymnastic movement for gymnasts.  Unless you are experienced in climbing, and know how to use your feet (a la rope climbs) you will be forced to pull your bodyweight up, and most times its off of a single arm.  So as you stand at the bottom of a 10' ledge looking up with a dumb slack-jawed open mouth, you realize you're fucked, and begin to wonder why in the last year worth of opportunities you were granted to train you didn't once try to at least do a few strict pull-ups.

This is a single example, grossly vague regarding the circumstances, and yet I hope you take away one thing.  Make your training mean something to you.  Know what you will accept.  Know why it is important that you accept nothing less from yourself than the standard calls for.  Only then will know what a real effort is and how to get your body to give it.  You will never rise to the occasion, you will however, default to your level of training.  Don't let your default be bullshit.  Make your default the toughest, most mind-warping, will-powered, everything you got standard.  Trust me, things will start to look a lot easier in the real world.

If you were to train in a dark room, with no one watching, and no one ever knew you were there  - what standard would you apply to yourself?

Darkness within Darkness

No man is an island, entire of itself. Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea...or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls it tolls for thee. ~John Donne

Like an accelerating jet, and the wheels just picked up off the runway.  Thrust back against the seat.  Clenching the armrest as if to hold onto the last piece of earth as it sails away.

Up in the air, thoughts no longer count, it's down to hope and fear.

Pausing to grasp the situation we suddenly realize who we love.
What certain people mean to us.
Who we are.

Nodding off... dreaming starts.  Goals set.  Plans made.  Fists pounded.  Lucidity minus nuance.

An aggressive jolt immediately welcomes reality.  All accounts took place where no one took witness.

What outcome now prevails depends on how often the voice of survival wins.

Moving forward requires action.  And discipline.

If you only make plans to prepare for the reaper when he is in sight he will greet you sooner than you are ready.

So do your training - however you can - to achieve your goals.  Fill your life with meaning.

Be what you can as best as you can as fast as you can.

Spend time remembering stoicly, to the point of possible pants-pissing, why you're so paranoid of any thing that can expose your weakness's.

And when time is made to act, seize with every ounce of opportunity it affords.

December 2009, Waunakee, WI
Smile for the camera

MIA 2012

I've been training all year.  I've got scars to prove it.  Numbers this year are bigger than last; everything is still moving in the direction planned.  Still focused.  Coffee and squats daily.  Sometimes more.  

The days are coming faster and faster.  And I seem to catch the sun at the same point on the horizon each night, although the time it happens keeps changing, quickly.  The nights occupy more than I'd like them to.

Constantly reminded that there is no time to remain stagnant.  Forcing some growth - personally, professionally, spiritually, physically - must happen now.  Change is coming.

I've been away from blogging as setting up the framework for our rapidly expanding community has been an all-consuming task to say the least.  Fear not, the coffee never gets a chance to get cold. 

As it turns out, my best friend Mike has gone and joined Uncle Sam in the quest to defend our Country.  I am proud of him.  He is a man who takes great care to which actions he takes, and this one, the greatest to date.   

He and I have been C&Sing since the beginning, and to continue on without him here will be a great challenge.  I will miss most his quiet creativity, and unyielding energy.  And although I am feeling a bit as though a sinkhole is under me and that there is no time to get to safety, I know he will be fulfilled as this is his dream, and with that he has my utmost respect and support.  

I wish him the very best, as I know he will emerge as a leader and courageous warrior where ever it is he ends up.   

I would hate to be hunted by him, that's for sure.  

Where it all began in the driveway.

Brains, Then Brawn

So you're competing, at least, you should be.

Welcome to real life - no one makes it out alive, so why stay on the current plateau?

Everyone falls, but a select, dedicated few reach heights that, when they do fall, let them fall to a greater degree.  Ask more of your body every day.

Hell, you don't need to be in an actual competition to compete, you should be going against yester-you every single day.   The effort from last week is what drives you further today.  We acquire the strength it takes to overcome obstacles.  More obstacles, more strength.  Competition just puts it on a stage.

So when it comes to testing mettle amongst others, the one who has sought the most obstacles, who has bled the most, cried the loudest, and dug holes deep enough light doesn't hit bottom, and then keeps digging - they are the ones who usually find themselves crossing the finish line with no one in front of them.

You can be a bad ass, but a smart bad-ass will go further.  The one reason that makes this so: they seek out the untried.  They will the way.

All of this should be on the road to competition, because upon arrival you have to make some strategy decisions.  Here's the rambling's of someone who wants you to succeed at your next competition adventure.

Know your objective.  If you aren't interested in winning (WTF?!) then you better be ready to lose.  Your all-comsuming goal is to win.  Blow the ever-loving doors off.  Rip the souls from the competition's chest and use them as fuel on your way to a massacre of a victory.   This feeling can be replicated with the purchase of a large Americano quad-shot.

Attitude.  This must align with your goal.  To be a winner, you must think like a winner.  "I am a winner.  I will win."  This will prepare you for the pain, at least, when it hits you will know why it hurts so fucking bad.  It hurts to play at the highest levels.  That's why so few choose to do so.

See the future.  What's coming and how do I respond to it? - would be a great question to outline for yourself as you prepare to do battle.  Knowing your strength's and weaknesses will allow you push yourself on a personal forte and hit it the best you are able on your not-so-hot abilities.

Remove distractions.  Listen up, we've all destroyed our hands, arms, legs, you-name-its with workouts before.  Is a shitty piece of tape really going to give you a leg up on the others as you do pull-ups so you don't hurt your wee little hands?  Fuck that shit.  Go in raw, come out bleeding and laughing at how awesome it was to have blood as chalk.. you do know blood gets sticky right?  Fuck yeah, natural chalk.

Stick with your plan (as long as possible).  I know, your plan goes to shit almost immediately in comp time, but having a plan allows you have something to go back to mentally when everything else dissolves.  If you are planning on doing a set of 30 burpee's as two sets of 15, and by the time you get to 10 your eyes are bleeding, you can then tell yourself, "Hey, I've only got 5 more until I can wipe the blood from my vision!"  And now you have a motivating goal.

Be a pro, go for quality.  Stepping up to a heavy bar for deadlifts after a chipper of other brutal movements might make you think, "Back, you're fucked."  And as you round out your back to pick up heavy shit you automatically destroy 10x the amount of tissue you needed to.  Be a rockstar and take the fraction of a second to remember how you set-up for the lift.  Then do it.  This should be a given if you are truly thinking like a winner.  The athletes that do the most work the fastest usually have the best mechanics.  Stick with that.


Get your rest.  The advantage so many forget is simple stuff.  Lots of sleep, lots of water, clean food, and getting your body mechanically aligned.



Go forth, and conquer.

FOR THOSE ABOUT TO SQUAT, I SALUTE YOU

The back squat.  Those of you reading this aren't new to it or else you'd probably never have found this blog.  Coffee and Squats is dedicated to being more, every day of your f-ing life.  Heavy squats accomplish this in a way nothing else can come close to...ok maybe outlaw programming, but for those who don't know WTF that is, squatting is your path.

I'm currently writing another blog on my personal endeavor with CrossFit Football, one of the most bad ass strength programs CrossFit, or any program, has to offer.  In case you are not familiar, CFFB begins its newer athletes with an Amateur Strength program.  Google it and check out their bitchin' site if you want more info on it, but suffice it to say that it blows weak ass programs away.

Part of the genius that is CFFB is the foundation by which everything is based on:  Squat twice a week.
As an amateur, this means back squats, and adding small amounts of weight to the bar EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU SQUAT.   CFFB creator John Welbourn also explains his program at length through his blog, talk to me johnnie, and if you have questions his seemingly un-ending knowledge is for the taking, granted its an explosion of information (think Jackson Pollock) and can be quite overwhelming if you are new and haven't lifted heavy weights before.  Make no mistake though, he's very well educated on how to be strong, powerful, and getting more out of yourself a power athlete at every stage in the game.  Ok, enough poo-nosing.

Getting under a constantly heavy bar takes a person of domineering will and fierce spirit, and the longer you stay with a program that always asks more of you than ever before, the more you will need to have an iron constitution to carry you through the shit-storm cycle of self-destruction and growth.

This is relevant.

This post is not about how-to or how low to squat, that should be understood already, and is documented here.  But for reference, send your ass to grass, shove your knee's out, keep your chest up, & push your heels through the crust of the earth.  This post is about getting your head out from the sand and prepping for some heavy squats.

The day's effort should begin with the night before, getting lots of quality sleep in a dark room, and upon waking brewing some not-to-be-fucked-with coffee.   Consume proteins and fats as needed.  Then, off to the cave...

#1.  Relax as you warmup, roll out, get your hips un-fucked with some mobility, lay on a lacrosse ball, unglue your tissue issues, and break a sweat.  Pound coffee.  Perform one or two sets of 5 squats with just the bar.

#2.  Build Belief.  Start loading the bar with weight, performing 5 reps to "grease the groove" at heavier and heavier loads leading up to what you will be performing for the day.  As weight increases, don't let yourself slow down, this will help you believe in your ability to complete the soul-crushingly heavy sets to come.

#3.  Focus.  Post warmup and pre-workout you should have something pumping in your head that gets you geared toward killing the weights.  I suggest the group Bloodbath, or Vader.  Both are on Pandora.  Develop a personal mantra such as "kill the weights", or "destroy" and let it guide you to victory.

#4.  Detach.  Elite level performers often experience a "blackout" during maximal efforts.  This out of body experience is usually due to the athlete being serious about #3.  Remove any ideas you have about the outcome and stay focused on the process.  Let the story write itself.  There is only one right way to do this, and its different for everyone.  The right way is the way that gets it fucking finished.  If you think about getting blah blah many reps, you won't be thinking about where to breathe, the timing of it, staying back on the heels, and most importantly, being fucking awesome.

#5.  The devil's in the details.  Know your stance, your ability, make small jumps when you add weight near your limits, and give it your everything.


Go squat.

Evaluate

Setting a personal agenda is one of the most basic and important tasks on the path to becoming someone who can stand on their own two feet and explicitly describe who they are what they believe.  The best way I have found to be able to get started is by asking hard questions and answering them honestly.  Try these for starters:

What would I do if I didn't have to work for money?

What makes me happy?

What are my goals?

Am I contributing positively in some way?

What is my self-image?

What do I want to accomplish this day, month, year?

What do I spend my time on?

Do I work hard enough?

Do I work smart enough?

Do I work on the right things?

Do I work on doing things right?

Am I falling victim to the status quo?

Am I passionate and what about?

Who is it that I spend my time with?

Who should I be spending my time with?

How often do I ask myself hard questions?



One of my favorite intangible benefits to consistently doing hard workouts is the fact that it forces you to take a brutally honest look at the worth of things.  At the efforts involved and how you could have done better with different planning and actions.

Is my time better spent sleeping or taking shots off of a young co-ed's chest?  Depends on how bad you want to suffer, I suppose.

Has goals.

Has herpes.

This non-exhaustive list should get you going.  Feel free to comment on others I may have missed.

Momentous

Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.  ~Erich Fromm


Day after day, week after week you keep going to the gym, opening your garage, where ever it is you train, you begin each day with wonder... is today the day it all comes together?  


Stepping up to a heavy bar and and asking that question for what seems quite a while, as the days of fruition are getting fewer and farther between, a feeling of reaching another level associates with this level of stressor/response delay - the place where you transition from the meek and stringy amateur athlete, to intermediate status.


The shift is almost invisible to the athlete, as they are profoundly rapt in consuming animal flesh for recovery, planning 10 hours or more for sleep, and licking their ever-growing wounds, but it is a crucial point of view for those who want to stay motivated as they mature their athletic abilities.  


As a new athlete the world is a giving place where anyone willing to try a few new things will immediately reap reward in the form of better sleep, new energy, a few pounds off the gut, and a couple of skills acquired.  It feels fan-fucking-tastic!  Hope is renewed frequently as the body adapts to demands placed on it almost hourly and continues to become an unstoppable machine of metabolic and weightlifting glory.  This can possibly be sustained for 6-12 months, depending on variables closely associated with discipline, diet, sleep and work ethic.  However, around year 2 some things begin happening...


It begins with a growing concern in the back of the athletes mind as workouts and lifts indicate a slowing of progress.  Skill acquisition becomes time consuming beyond  just single efforts.  A slip in diet causes days of inadequate performance and mental fatigue unlike before.  You feel crushed, mentally, physically, whole-heartedly.


Welcome to the suck.  This is the moment where you either give up, give in, or give it all you have.  And not just today, every single moment of every single day.  These are the moments that champions are born.  When all hope is lost, you stand once more to try as hard you can - today.  One moment at a time.  Through the pains of failure, disappointment, almost's...  You keep grinding.  You crawl to the finish line.


As the body's ability to adapt to various workloads becomes more efficient, and it will, it decides that it can now go back to being lazy as fuck.  And it will.  Your body is literally trying to do as little as possible all the time.  Once it figures out your weightlifting scheme and pansy-assed efforts (anything lifted below 90% 1RM) it will immediately go back to just being ok where it is.  This is why lifting a heavy object twice a week (at a minimum) is so crucial to athletic development, the body must learn that off days are not "rest days", there are no rest days, they are only days in-between to facilitate heavy consumption of fuel for the next training session and allowing just enough time for the body to get re-built where the last squatting session has left massacred muscles and tendons to die.  


Don't worry, at the shifting point they are already adapted to most of your efforts, and thus will be tough enough to carry forward, but to increase their ability is why it must be a 'best effort' every single day.  It takes many of these BE's to wake them the fuck up and get them responding.  And the longer you've been training the longer it will take to see an increase in ability.  Probably, you'll go backwards at some point.  Probably, you'll feel like absolute shit and a broken psyche will add to your injured/pulled/ripped/torn body parts.  You might feel like you haven't gained anything in the last 6 months or more, and that maybe this just isn't for you...


But you still have to give it all you have.  


Because you didn't start to just become a better you.  You started so you could become the best you.  And if not, then you're wasting your time and the time of those around you.


And its at this point that you step up to loaded barbell and, after months of effort with no return, you begin your reps.  And you make it all the way to the last rep, standing there with no spotter, no camera's, no one watching...


...and you achieve.  




Racking the bar you collapse underneath it as the chalk gently snows down on you from your hands still gripping overhead.  That's what all of your best efforts have been for.  One single win.  


Relish it, and start again.

Scoreboard says: Winning